As your erudition is manifest, you may appreciate this sentiment:

“When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.” -Einstein

To take that notion a step further:

If possessions are often assigned a value inversely proportional to their abundance, moments of life are no different.

One often treasures the shortest, most fleeting moments and, by contrast, dreads those experiences which perpetuate the subjective experience of time until we feel like Achilles in Zeno’s paradox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno’s_paradoxes).

Given these perspectives, I challenge anyone to find a more efficacious consolidator of life’s moribund moments than an attractive companion.

Toward that end, please consider my humble suggestion that you contrive to equip yourself with a copy of the movie “The diving bell and the butterfly”.

Please consider my humble proposal that you acquire it not so much for the purpose of acquainting yourself with travails of the protagonist (which details you’ve already perforce mastered, albeit at perhaps a different level), but rather for potential use as a tool whereby to acclimatize extant or new women in your life to your striking juxtaposition of wit and unconventional packaging.

In would be a shame to deprive would-be admirers of your acerbic wit solely for want of a decent marketing campaign.